Aih, doesnt know whats going on with this relationship. At every time she's being lonely and bored, i'll get the blame for not being with her. According to you, i never do what i said. Yea, of course there were sometimes, i'm in fault. Why, this is because at times, i'm so undecisive of what to do. Needed time to think and figure out what i would want, what i wanted to do, and what i really needed.
At times, I make last minute changes in my decision. Anything can happened in this world before the time of the event. For example, for the weekend, i can either stay at home, follow my cousin to visit his parents or even to my gf place. There's really lots of things in mind running and thinking before i could eventually come out with a firm decision. Nothing stands firm till the last minute. Thats why u're angry at me. I should have expected.
I gave unconfirmation words to you, such as might be, maybe, or even not sure. This doesnt mean i'm giving hope to you. There are just chances i would choose either of the decision for the weekend. I know that i would consider the pros and cons before making decision. I knew, meeting you once a week isnt enough for you and me. But, at times, i would like just want a weekend for my own.
Misses and loves, i do miss you , i do love you. But doesnt mean that i have to be with you all the time. We've been in distance relationship before you even came to K. L to further your studies. So why now you're so bothered by not meeting up this weekend? When i dont meet you, you said i dont care about you, dont need you and even worst, you're like nothing to me.
Oh gosh, come on, take a deep breathe and think a little bit deeper, IF you're nothing to me, i would be with you for the past 5 years. I wouldn't even started this relationship with you. If i dont need you, why would i waste the 5 years being in a relationship with you ? Why not with others or fooling around with others like i used to be ? Human changes, people thinking changes as they grow up. If there is no future with you, i would have call our relationship off in the 1st year.
Peopls said, caring is sharing. Think deeper,at which point i wont tell you what am i doing ? where am i ? or what is my plan? If i dont care for you, i would just secretly done my stuff without even bothered to tell you. You said i dont care for your feelings. What about mine ? who cares about mine ?
I live withouht my mum for half of my life currently, i've learned so much about people, see so much drastic changes in people or even how to be in a relationship. Of course, i wouldn't say i'm a professional or master but at least i went thru this experienced. You feel sad and hurt when i'm not with you, but what about me ? i've went thru a bitter childhood which makes me stronger each day. Can you imagine how a 10 years old boy have to face with family problems? how he went thru without the love and care of his parents? How he went thru with all the conflicts in the family?
I've really sick and tired of quarreling. Just wondering why i can face it and continue with my life but not you? What if i die tomorrow ? Does that mean you wouldnt live on? Life are so unpredictable. God gave us life, and HE can take it away from us anytime.
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